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| A Freedom Special Report | |
Freedom Science Report
The Posse Flu: “Bacterium Apostatus Posse”
New Orleans Steam Release Bug
Symptoms: Leads to drunkenness, disorderly conduct and honeymooning in a cell with 50 men who can’t decide if you’re the groom or the bride.
Beat, Choke and Punch Antibody
Symptoms: This antibody whacks you within an inch of death, whereupon it becomes your “best good antibuddy.”
Apostate Staph
Symptoms: Causes one to “forget” the crimes you committed, blame them on others and blab about it all to reporters. Also known as “Kingpin’s Disease.”
Conspire with Con-Man Virus
Symptoms: Suborning perjury and obstructing justice to save your own skin.
Make Believe Minister Germ
Symptoms: Compels one to wear a Cuban shirt and pretend to perform the wedding of “best good antibuddy.”
The Posse Flu is not contagious and poses no risk to the general population.
In fact, there are only a few cases on record and most of those were confined to a small town in South Texas.
The flu has also infected a small band of squirrels but they are harmless.
Prognosis: The disease is known to mutate, attack itself and eventually
self-distruct.